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2033 BMW 530i metal object touched the positive cable to the body and now wipers interior door lock switch not working and some interior lights don't come on now. What did I blow?

wow a time machine traveler , warpped here via a Worm hole bridge from time/space, 2033 welcome to earth,. if lucky the damage is only blown fuses. harness wires. or Computers on board, year 2033 must now have over 100 computes on board to our 10. (we are cavemen here) to you. The BCM brain seems very unhappy. Our cars even 50 fuses, some tiny and some huge. 100amps even or even 5amps.small. wise is check them all. check fuses and if all is good find car repair shop, they can fix it or scan the PCM is this a USA " are, is USA now resolved in year 2033, and now part of CHINA.<< do tell me this so I can move South. all cars had body to engine to battery negative jumper. if that blows up it must be replaced, a 6 gauge wire on mine. seen cars with it burned to a crisp. doing just like you did. or using jumper cables dead wrong.
9/22/2022 2:22:38 PM • BMW Cars &... • 27 views • 0 helpful votes
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Where is the alternator fuse located on a 2006 BMW 330I?

If the alternator is charging the battery it will not be the fuse. The alternator would simply stop working if the fuse has blown. If the battery isn't holding charge you might have a power drain somewhere in the vehicle. Something in the electrics may not be turning off correctly and draining the battery. Do you have any warning lights on the dash? Have you access to an OBD2 scanner to check for any Trouble Codes? If it is a power drain the simplest fix is to get a good Auto Electrician to check the vehicle. Finding a power drain or an electrical short can be a real pain in the tail bone job because there is so much electronics on a car. Paying an expert to do it is a lot quicker and easier as they have the right tools to do it.
5/12/2022 3:56:53 PM • BMW Cars &... • 788 views • 2 helpful votes
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Where's the yaw sensor on a bmw x6 2009?

It is located under the right front seat (Passenger Front). Refer to the diagram attached. Component A139 is the sensor in question, labeled as a Lateral-Acceleration sensor. screenshot_20220906-183554-0w2kqy5u5p1sicektes34bgs-d-4.png screenshot_20220906-183554-0w2kqy5u5p1sicektes34bgs-d-0.png screenshot_20220906-183554-0w2kqy5u5p1sicektes34bgs-d-2.png screenshot_20220906-183554-0w2kqy5u5p1sicektes34bgs-d-3.png screenshot_20220906-183554-0w2kqy5u5p1sicektes34bgs-d-1.png
9/6/2022 9:34:28 PM • BMW Cars &... • 34 views • 0 helpful votes
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2001 BMW 740iL. I cut a new key motor spins, lights come on, but engine will not start.

Question edited for clarity. Question moved from MISC to BMW 740iL. Does the new key have a transponder chip in it? Did you check? If it does, you need to reset the alarm and immobilizer, if not you need a proper key and not a Valet Key. https://www.google.com/search?q=2001+bmw+740il+reset+security+light ..
9/3/2022 11:32:13 PM • BMW 2001 740 iL • 36 views • 0 helpful votes
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2015 BMW Z4 driverside window will not go all the way up stops about 1/2 inch short! regulator reset option will not work!

only 2 causes (besides switches bad)_ window guides jammed or motor drive bad/. on most cars i remove the motor and move the window by hand and if ok motor is bad or test 12vdc to the motor, to be sure it is 12vcd in operation learn that all modern cars the motor now has kids clutch inside that fails, so not to crash kids heads, they say. it loves to fail as most clutches do (cheap(ish))
8/1/2022 10:07:49 PM • BMW Cars &... • 74 views • 0 helpful votes
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WHERE IS THE FUSE BOX ON A 2000 BMW R1100

moved you out of , cars to motorcycle had to guess last missing model letter (S) the users manual covers this and is free if you search. the service manual too covers this in spades. 2nd google hit. free too. but is for S model and not told by you. I had r1000s , mint restored. https://www.manualslib.com/manual/368745/Bmw-R-1100-S.html more here if you want https://www.manualslib.com/b/bmw+r1100.html all motorcycles, under see or tank . really where else can they hide, some on headlight shell RT' words 1 Removing and installing central electrical equipment box e Caution: Switch off ignition. Disconnect ground (earth) lead from battery. Insulate ground (earth) lead. • Remove dualseat. • [RT] Remove small side fairing sections at left and right. • [RT] Remove luggage rack/case holder. • [RS/R/RT] Take off rear fairing at left and right. • [RT] Remove lower rear section. • Take out retaining screws (1) for upper section of central electrical equipment box. fuse-undefined-undefined-0_2.jpg fuse2-undefined-undefined-1.jpg fuse2-undefined-undefined-2.jpg
7/28/2022 4:22:34 AM • BMW R 1100 S... • 79 views • 0 helpful votes
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2004 BMW 330 I coils for injectors not coming on

I coils HUH?
8/11/2022 8:02:50 AM • BMW Cars &... • 54 views • 0 helpful votes
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Need crank shaft cap torque specs on BMW x5 3.0i 2004

Torque for harmonic balance/ crankshaft pulley is 410nm
6/12/2022 5:23:41 PM • 2004 BMW X5 3.0i • 252 views • 0 helpful votes
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BMW R1100S no start and no lights

no year told. (nor country) wiring not same, year, country northe S at end is very important too.fuse blownmy r1000s had he pesky kickstand switch that loved to fail.there is huge fuse box in this bike,the users guide coverno start means starter motor dead, or cranks fast but engine does not start, and run.?????????????and Neural safety switch failing, fiddle it about.the dash light glows for neutral.yes you said.all bikes here have right thumb dead man;s switchif tripped engine goes dead (no spark) (saved me offroad once, fell in to brambles.a panic button not like on boats with lanyard switch .tell what the starter motor does, dead silent , clicks ,chatters or spins. it uses 10 more current than lamps. so battery must be good. and pass load tests.bright head lamps not DIM at all.one more forgot yes the clutch switch bad kills the starter relay.5 switches happy painted red here by me

bcc6a20f-d05b-4e74-b24b-f41cbc54e672.jpg
7/26/2022 7:57:01 PM • BMW R 1100 S... • 77 views • 0 helpful votes
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2015 BMW X5 lift gate controller got wet and stopped working. Dried out area and controller and it now works other than an alarm sounding when you start car. How do I stop this

It is a modern BMW and crammed full of electronics, modules and sensors talking to each other over a Communication Network. For issues like this you need a local auto electrician and a pro grade scan tool computer to check for DTCs and Communication codes. The diagnostics provide the fix and the scan tool is bi-directional to allow for programming of modules. The Body Control Module is the brains behind a lift gate controller module and the alarm system module and sensors. https://www.google.com/search?q=auto+electrician+near+me ..
7/15/2022 3:48:31 PM • BMW Cars &... • 96 views • 0 helpful votes
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BMW E92 M57 3.0 diesel, crank no start, But starts on Easy Start ( STARTER FLUID ) could I still have a snapped chain ?

This sounds like a fuel starvation issue. It runs for a second or two on easy start as that is what is burning as fuel. Do you have any warnig lights on the dash? Have you had the vehicle scanned for trouble codes? If you have to pay for the scan get prices at 4 or 5 different places as costs can be VERY different. Comment below with any Trouble Codes and I'll try to help you more. A broken timing chain should only affect the mechanical timing. If it runs and sounds OK when you use the easy start the chain should be set correctly.
7/14/2022 1:17:12 PM • BMW Cars &... • 85 views • 2 helpful votes
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2006 BMW 325 Ci, from complete stop, engine misses, then runs fine. Worse when hot out and under load A/C.

I would suggest using a scope to watch the camshaft and crankshaft sensors while the fault is happening to see if either is cutting out. THe red/white wire should have a constant 12 volts, the brown wire should have a constant ground. Does it do it when it is cold? I had a Pt Cruiser in a shop with a similar problem once and found when i heated the ECM up with a heat gun, the car would die and not restart. When i sprayed it with freeze spray, the car would start and run fine- it was a bad ECM. But most of these things should set a code. You really need to pull up live data on a scan tool- look for regularities on the O2 sensors and Mass airflow sensors.
7/14/2022 12:38:31 AM • BMW Cars &... • 83 views • 0 helpful votes
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1997 bow z3 1.9 motor turns over will not start

If it got too hot the engine may have been damaged. You will need to have a cylinder compression test to make sure the engine is ok. Did the coolant get all over the engine? Some electrical connections may have gotten wet. Make sure it is getting fuel. Spray a little starter fluid into the throttle body.
7/19/2022 3:06:51 AM • BMW Cars &... • 63 views • 0 helpful votes
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I have a 99 BMW 528i changed intake manifold now it won't start if it does start revs high and dies

Hi, I have a bmw aswell, when this happens it is useally that there is a split or crack in the air intake rubber boots, so check those first, and any vacuum pipes that go to the intake, and I dont know how carefull you was when putting the manifold on that a gasket did not seat properly,if you have no problems with all the above check the diser valve is working ok, hope this was some help,all the best.
9/1/2022 10:15:18 AM • BMW Cars &... • 24 views • 0 helpful votes
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2006 BMW 530i wipers work intermittent in any sw. position.

Faulty relay
7/24/2022 4:48:39 PM • BMW Cars &... • 41 views • 0 helpful votes
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2013 BMW 325i M Sport. CODE:801C20 ZGM. Central Faulty Memory.2-D36D54SIGNEL 3-4809AB under voltage. Please help me fix this problem. 2013 BMW 325i M Sport.

Question edited for clarity. I doubt your BMW is a 125i. These type of faults need an auto electrician with a pro grade scan tool computer and access to factory data. https://www.google.com/search?q=2013+BMW+325i+M+Sport%2C+801C20+ZGM.+Central+Faulty+Memory.2-D36D54SIGNEL+3-4809AB ..
2/17/2022 9:45:20 AM • BMW Cars &... • 2,811 views • 0 helpful votes
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