I downloaded the driver from nvidia and it installs but if i put my card in windows wants to automatically install the graphics card and then it doesnt pick up my installed driver

Install card in first dont let windows do anything to try and install
run driver from nvidia if windows still trys to override then download the driver and try everything offline if none of that helps and windows overwrite the nvidia driver then you want to go into device manager and roll back driver to the nvidia one

The driver's need to be installed after the hardware. If you can, uninstall the drivers, install the card, then install the drivers. They should now override the Windows wizards.

I think you should put your Hardware and after that you install your driver, but if you installed before you put your hardware probably, this driver not to your hardware.