My car will turn over but wont start ive changed the plugs the distributor and cap and coil but there is no spark coming from plugs or anywhere also ive changed rotor arm

The coil in the distributor is THE coil. Try replacing that coil.

if it won't run on starting fluid then you have a no spark issue. i'd check spark out of the coil to the distributor. you could have a bad ignition control module or coil

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Okay, I am not convinced it is the spark. But there is a chance. The fact that torching the plugs allowed it to start tells me you engine is flooding. Do you smell gas? If you open the throttle body with the air cleaner off, does vapor come out when the engine had recently cranked? If it is electrical, then power to both ignition modules is failing, which means A. the ECM is not providing power to the modules, or B. The engine crank sensor has failed. The Cause could be a bad connection to the ECM.
A scope will indicate whether or not the proper pulses are being input and output from the ECM to the modules. Of course it will need to be tested when it is not working compared to when it is. When cranking, the tach should move indicating rotation of the crank, if not, there is a good chance the crank sensor is no good.

Issues are most likely to arise with the spark and fuel (and 90% will be spark), so solving starting and stalling problems should begin there, after you've made a general inspection to make sure all hoses and wires are connected, and that the air filter isn't clogged solid with dirt.
A warning here before we go any further: If you're using an aftermarket distributor cap, rotor, igniter, coil and/or plug wires, be aware that quality is variable and they are unlikely to be anywhere near OEM standard, even if they're sold as "premium". There's a reason such parts are cheaper. Poor-quality aftermarket parts can (will) cause their own problems that can greatly complicate diagnosis of starting problems. For the little extra cost, new OEM is always the safest. Also, never crank the engine with the plug wires removed, or with the distributor cap off, except for brief (very brief) testing purposes. Doing so can overheat and damage the ignition coil.

jump timing loosen distributor and plus or minus turn and retighten

most likely coil insulation has failed.most commonly occurs in tower area.remove cap,crank engine and watch where spark arcs to .if it comes out anywhere but the outlet portion of the tower or you dont see any at all...the coil has a failure.bad news is you have toget the whole distributor assy.coil not serviced separately.

Try putting some dielectric silicone grease in the boots on the spark plugs and a thin layer around the distributor cap. There should be a seal on the distributor that seals the joint between the cap and distributor. Park it in a garage and use a blow dryer in the distributor cap / distributor.

Try the coil, But first take a spark plug out and put it back in the cap, then rest it on the engine somewhere and then get a friend to turn over the engine to see if there is a spark at that plug, if not then check the lead between the coil and the distributor cap for good connection, if you still dont have a spark it will probably be the coil mate, Having said that if you have a healthy spark then check you have a fuel supply, Colin.

Remove the distributor cap, so that the rotor is visible. Have an assistant turn the ignition to crank the engine over. If the rotor does not turn when the engine is cranking, then you need a timing belt or chain.

If the rotor does turn, then replace the coil.

Replace the complete distributor. They are available on Ebay, brand new for a bout $100. or at any auto parts store for a little more. It sounds like the module inside the distributor popped but it could be one of the pick-ups, or maybe the coil as well. Rather than wasting a lot of time and money trying to figure out which one, just get a complete new distributor. It comes complete with a new cap, rotor, module, coil, pick-ups.
These are a very, very common problem.