How long does it take on average to brew a batch of beer? Will I get it done in time for my birthday next week?

To adjust the brew volume/batch size you will need to access the main circuit board behind the front panel. Isolate the machine before removing panels.

NOTE: Check that the brewer is connected to water supply, the tank is properly filled and a funnel and server or decanters are in place prior to setting or modifying batch sizes.

1. Modifying batch sizes: To modify a batch volume, first check that the SET/LOCK switch is in the "SET" position on the circuit board. If the brewer has a batch selector switch, position it to the size to be changed. To increase a batch size: Press and hold the START or BREW switch until three clicks are heard. Release the switch (Failure to release the switch within 2 secs after the third click causes the volume setting to be aborted and previous volume setting will remain in memory) and press it again one or more times. Each time the switch is pressed, 2 secs are added to the brew time period. Allow the brew cycle to finish in order to verify that the desired volume has been achieved. To decrease a batch size: Press and release the START or BREW switch once for every 2 sec interval to be removed from the total brew time period; then immediately press and hold down the START or BREW switch until three clicks are heard. Release the switch. (Failure to release the switch within 2 secs after the third click causes the volume setting to be aborted and previous volume setting will remain in memory). Allow the brew cycle to finish in order to verify that the desired volume has been achieved.
2. Setting batch sizes: To set a batch volume, first check that the SET/LOCK switch is in the "SET" position on the circuit board. Press and hold the START or BREW switch until three clicks are heard (this will take approx. 10 secs) and then release the switch. (Failure to release the switch within 2 secs after the third click causes the volume setting to be aborted and previous volume setting will remain in memory). View the level of the liquid being dispensed. When the desired level is reached, turn the ON/OFF switch to "OFF". The brewer remembers this volume and will continue to brew batches of this size until the volume setting procedure is repeated. Empty server(s), turn selector switch to positions that have yet to be set and repeat batch setting procedure until all batch sizes are set.
   NOTE: When brewing coffee, batch volumes will decrease due to absorption by the coffee grounds.
3. Setting programming disable feature: If it becomes necessary to prevent anyone from changing brew times once
   programmed, you can set the SET/LOCK switch to the "LOCK" position. This will prevent any programming to be done.
   NOTE: If the clicks cannot be heard, lightly grip the incoming water line to feel when the valve cycles on and off.

I like the answer that the Brew Beer and Drink It site gives about cleaning your home brewing equipment. It seems like it's really important to get it right or you can mess up all of your beer.

http://brewbeeranddrinkit.com/how-to-clean-home-brew-equipment/

It's very individual. If you use more, it speeds up the fermentation process but also alters the taste. I would recommend somewhere between 15-30 balls. But you should check what the directions say (yeast balls should come with some instructions on the back). Because if it's a different make to the one I'm used to, it might be completely different quantities.

NO! Don't put your beer in direct sunlight. The sun will promote the growth of bacteria and this will ruin your batch of beer. It's fine to put them somewhere warm, just not in direct sunlight. Good Luck and have patience and you will end up with a good brew.

Sure you can. If you want to re-use your yeast for more home brews just pour the beer out of the bottle into a clean one and then pour the next batch on top of the remaining yeast in the bottle. You can re-use the yeast for around 4-5 batches. The yeast will weaken a bit with each batch and the flavor will alter slightly but sometimes that turns out to be a good thing

On average, a 5 gallon batch of beer will produce around 3 degrees Fahrenheit of heat during the fermentation.

In theory you can make a good brew from day one, but it doesn't always work out that way. There is an unspoken rule that it takes 5-10 brews for beginners to perfect their brew, so don't worry if it didn't feel perfect on your first attempt.

Make sure you follow the instructions down to the finest details and don't give up on a recipe just because one batch wasn't great. Don't be tempted to tamper with the recipe as small adjustments can make all the difference.

Brewing your own beer requires you to boil and make beer with a wort extract. Extract brewing is where you use reconstituted wort to make your own beer. This method is much quicker and requires a lot less equipment than all grain brewing, which involves creating your own wort from the beginning.

It's a great thing to make your own beer from scratch but it's a much more complicated and involved process than brewing your own from wort that you purchases.

In order to be considered a trappist beer they must fulfill two requirements - the beer must be brewed onsite at a trappist abbey and they must be brewed for non-profit purposes. There are currently 6 remaining brewing abbeys in the world - five in Belgium and one in the Netherlands. The most recognized trappist beer is Chimay.

If you live in the United States, your friend is right. You can't just brew as much beer as you like. According to the law you can brew up to 200 gallons of beer a year (which is 40 cases). But that's a lot of beer so it shouldn't restrict you too much.