My bmw e87 Chimes dont work, no indicator sound, seat belt sound, petrol sound nothing?

what fuel?, gas or diesel, LPG, LNG, e100 what?
(E81/E82/E87/E88; ? aka E8x says
"the four-cylinder turbo-diesel, four-cylinder naturally aspirated petrol, six-cylinder naturally aspirated petrol and six-cylinder turbocharged petrol (the latter only available on coup? and convertible models)."
I can not guess engines !, if not told straight up."
what does 1116i mean., google returns zip, a typo or bounced a key? YES !
or post the country and VIN and we tell you what is under the hood
and is first, step.
let we wild guess it burns GASoline (petrol)
and has spark (sure does) and spark is dead
DIY.
all fuses good
and next we scan the car at the OBD1 scan port USA, 16pins.
it then tells my why spark is dead.
and why spray test fuel fails. a standard easy test, for prove spark and engine are ok for 100 years, the same exact test.

your engine is here. find it and tell it for 10x more exact answers for free.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_BMW_engines


OK googling me like crazy car really is
Series 1.6 116i just 2 ones. no three.
I guess this is a BMW test day?
best I can tell that is an E87 BMW,actual
E87 1 Series 5 door 116i has a naturally-aspirated Inline 4 cylinder engine, Petrol motor. 1596 cm3 (1.6l)
This engine produces a maximum power of 115 PS (113 bhp - 85 kW) at 6000 rpm and a maximum torque of 150 Nm (110 lb.ft) at 4300 rpm.

So if E87 it is then it has spark and no fuel ever burns lacking spark
and must be scanned, after all fuses test good
here is the best test (EFI ways) DYI
1: connect scan tool & key on make sure scan tool works.!!!
2 CRANK FOR 5 SECONDS, AND RELEASE KEY
3: DO NOT TURN KEY OFF NOW.
4: SCAN AGAIN SEE WHY ECU TELLS YOU WHY SPARK IS DEAD,
IT SURE WILL, DTC P-3XX , HARD HARD ERRORS. LIKE THESE.
CPM DEAD.
CKP DEAD
SPARK DEAD.
FUSES DEAD
BATTERY WEAK.
AND MORE, NOT SCANNING IS THE PROBLEM
YOU CAN NOT FIX MODERN CARS LACKING THE TOOL SO RENT ONE/?

MY GUESS THIS IS THE CAR

https://www.ultimatespecs.com/car-specs/BMW/4921/BMW-E87-1-Series-5-door-116i.html

spontaneously alerts ??? Warning chimes Warning Devices The warning device system consists of the following:

• Key-in-ignition warning switch
• Door ajar switch
• Driver and passenger safety belt minder switch (integral to the safety belt buckle)
• Vehicle security module

The instrument cluster and the restraints control module (RCM) control the following chimes:

• Safety belt warning (repetitive chime)
• Key-in-ignition warning (repetitive chime)
• Headlamps on warning (repetitive chime)
• Door ajar warning (single tone)
• Air bag warning (repetitive chime) The following 5 distinct chime rates are used to indicate warning:
  
  • safety belt warning is 1 chime per second
  • key-in-ignition warning is 2 chimes per second
  • headlamps on warning is 4 chimes per second
  • door ajar warning is a single chime
  • air bag warning is 5 chimes per second
  • now which of these is your vehicle doing ?

What year? USA market?

Try this YouTube link. It is for an E87. BMW 1 Series E87 fuel filter replacement maintenance service

Here you go:

Maybe a bad switch or something in the belt latch,
I unplugged mine at the floor where the right belt anchors,
Now it's quiet,I still know if the belt is on or not by the way it feels !!

Check the radio fuse. As unusual as it seems, GM has started having the radio (even though not turned on) generate the chimes and turn signal sounds. If the radio fails, all the chimes fail too.

This applies to other vehicles besides the HHR. My 2003 Silverado had the door chimes fade down so I could barely hear them. The fix was to replace the radio (under warranty, fortunately...).

Sounds like a seat belt chime. I know on the newer fords and mercurys it does the same thing if you dont buckle your seat belt

I have same problem. I used to have the SRS (air bag) light flash. But the light does not show anymore (burned out?) and now I get the 25 chimes.

Seat belt and any warning chimes do not come from the radio, they usually come from a unit under the dash, what you are describing is probabl;y a blown fuse problem. I would checkfuses with a teat light as some fuses may not appear blown.