Sounds like a newer 5 series. The SZL module located in the steering column has failed. Most common indication of this failure is the wipers being stuck on. Unit will need to be coded by a professional. Just for fun you can try a memory dump: remove negative battery cable and then positive battery cable and touch them together for 30 minutes then reconnect everything and hope for the best. If the cables are too short to reach each other slide a screwdriver in through the negative opening and into the positive opening. MAKE SURE NEGATIVE CABLE DOESN'T TOUCH THE POSITIVE CABLE WHILE IT IS CONNECTED TO THE VEHICLE.
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